The answer depends on one’s goals.

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A coach can help a person to identify strengths, develop them, and identify personal and professional goals. Their role is to assist the coachee throughout the change process. As you will discover, this happens in several ways.

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A mentor’s focus is partly on compatibility with the mentee. The mentor and mentee might engage with each other through social or professional events to determine ‘fit.’

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This is the initiation stage where the mentee must “prove him- or herself worthy of a mentor’s attention.” There may or may not be money exchanged in a mentor/mentee relationship.

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The three other stages of a mentoring relationship are:

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• Cultivation – The mentee learns from the experiences of the mentor. The mentor gains insights from the mentee about new areas or emerging issues within the shared field.

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• Separation – This is the end of the relationship. Challenges arise if one of the parties is not ready to end the relationship.

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• Redefinition – The relationship reaches this level after successfully completing the separation stage. During this phase, the relationship evolves into a “collegial relationship or social friendship”.

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If a person chooses coaching, there are many benefits. Coaching conversations help a person focus attention on their desired goals.

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Most of the session involves the coach listening, and then asking powerfully focused questions.

Among them are:

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• What was your best experience with your goals in the past week?

• What percentage of achievement did you reach for this goal?

• What contributed to this level of success?

• What did you learn from the experience?

• When you think about this goal, what feelings does it stimulate, and what needs does it meet?

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The foundation of a good coaching relationship is trust and authenticity. This allows for vulnerability. Coachees who open themselves to being vulnerable also can experience growth in self-compassion. A combination of self-kindness, mindfulness, and a sense of common humanity.

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Positive psychology coaches pay particular attention to assisting clients to identify their strengths. Coachees learn to explore and develop them as a means to achieve their goals, and also to cultivate positive emotions. Generating positive emotions leads to “an upward spiral.”

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• Ten positive emotions:

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Joy Love Pride Gratitude Inspiration

Awe Hope Interest Serenity Amusement

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• Coaching creates the space for clients to build on these emotions and flourish.

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Most people do not like being told what to do or when to do it. Coaches who understand this will build coaching relationships that allow the client to act autonomously.

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Autonomous motivation means the person controls the decision-making process. The coach provides resources and support and nudges as needed, but the coachee is in charge.

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People who are autonomously motivated pursue actions that are of interest to them. They view the actions as important. Behavior change happens when the client experiences greater autonomous motivation.

 

“How do we support autonomy and build accountability?”

 

They are:

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1. Positive behavior changes last longer

2. Increased creativity and flexibility

3. Improved performance

4. Making changes is enjoyable

5. Health and personal relationships improve

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If coaching does not fit a person’s needs, then establishing a mentor relationship can also be beneficial. Mentoring is defined as a “professional development relationship” having two functions.

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The first is career-related placing the mentor as a coach dispensing advice. The second is prosocial and puts the mentor in a role model and support system position.

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Mentored individuals are more satisfied and committed to their work and have better performance evaluations. Mentees are not alone in reaping the benefits of this type of arrangement. Mentors often feel reenergized and satisfied because they are helping someone become a leader.

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• Both coaching and mentoring involve a willingness to learn, grow, and adapt.